Growing up an only child of parents who separated early in their marriage definitely has its ups and downs. On the upside, both parents ensure that you are happy as a child, with transient cartoon collectibles and stuffed toys, grand birthday parties at restaurants of your choice, and TLC (tender loving care) during dates with either parent.

The downside, though, varies. For me, it was the perpetual avoidance of long-term commitments, both in friendships and romantic relationships. It was partly due to mistrust of the authenticity of relationships, but mostly because I refused to suffer the pain of experiencing things not working out again. It was only in high school that I was able to establish enduring friendships, and only in college that I was able to commit deliberately to a life-long calling: activism.

After I enrolled in University of the Philippines (UP)-Manila as a Development Studies major, my worldview took a 180-degree turn. Under the tutelage of renowned progressive professors and after becoming a member of the League of Filipino Students, I set off to start the best long-term commitment; one which I am bound, not just to a specific friend or barkada, but to my alma mater, the University of the Philippines. Or, even better, the University of the People: ang lansangan, which, I found, provided better lessons than what our usual classrooms offer.

My stint in the University Student Council also did my perspective a huge favor. It was during my term that Kristel Tejada, a UP Manila Behavioral Science freshie, took her own life, allegedly because of shame borne out of the inability to pay her tuition. This situation caused by skyrocketing tuition and other exorbitant fees imposed on students is but one of the many atrocities nipping at everyone’s dream of a decent and dignified life.

During that time, our council voted against calling out the inhumane education system hounding the youth, despite our party’s indignation. Imagine my frustration as part of a voting minority. A life lost wasn’t enough to move the student council to speak up and act. How could an Iskolar ng Bayan openly disregard the right to education of a poor but otherwise deserving constituent? This was the first time in my entire life that I felt the need to hide in a bathroom cubicle to cry. It was also my last time to think of activism as a mere passing phase of college life.

Activism, I found, was the best relationship you can ever be in – for the long-haul. It is a relationship with the world, where you are an agent of social change, and also where you, in the process, are also transformed. It is a relationship with yourself, wherein you are pushed to the limits of your timid, mediocre and distrustful self. Thus you become something that can be likened to an oblation: ready to live a life of service and struggle, gleaming with hope for a better future to come.

Why am I here? Because in a world of highly-commercialized and fleeting relationships, activism is one of the few things that I can genuinely be proud of committing to.

Neen has recently completed her undergraduate degree in Development Studies from UP Manila. She works for Sulong Katribu Party-list and is also a radio jock for Mellow 94.7.